What Not to Wear on that Important First Date
So you’ve finally been brave enough to ask that girl or guy out on a date and you really want to make a great impression, what do you wear?
This was a dilemma that I recently faced as my wardrobe consists of a variety of jeans in various states of abuse, a collection of Rip Curl t-shirts and some almost worn out DC shoes trainers. I have a couple of crumpled old shirts, last worn for a funeral and job interview, a suit that was out of fashion when I bought it second-hand ten years ago and a pair of over-sized wellington boots that were won in a raffle. So I was in a dilemma. Should I go clothes shopping, which I hate, or could I borrow something suitable from a friend?
I called round to a mates place and he suggested I borrow some of his designer gear, which sounded like a good idea. The problem was that I am a small man and he is huge. All of his fancy designer clothes were simply far too large. I looked like a kid playing dress-up in his dads clothes, so that was a no no. I decided to go and see another good friend who is closer to my diminutive size.
My good friend Kenny is about my size and he has an enormous collection of clothes. The problem is that Kenny, a flamboyant gay, has a taste for exceptionally garish colors that look like high visibility safety clothing. He suggested that I wear a pair of his skin tight, bright green stretch trousers along with a bright orange t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan ‘Hello Big Boy’. I didn’t think that this would create the right impression with my date so I asked if he had anything else.
Kenny excitedly said that he had just the thing. A bright blue jumpsuit with a huge collar, studded with rhinestones. I asked Kenny if he was serious and he told me that this was the suit in which he’d met his current partner and it had made quite an impression. I tried it on but it made me look like an Elvis impersonator so this was another non-starter.
Then Kenny showed me another selection of clothes that he described as boring impulse buys that he had never actually worn. When I took a look inside the wardrobe I could see that these were far more suitable than the skintight fluorescent stuff that he had suggested. He had a collection of Nike ACG jackets that he had never worn because they were, in his words, too boring. There was a heap of jeans from Levis, Diesel and other excellent brands and a whole load of shirts, some quite loud, but several that I would happily be seen in.
So my old friend Kenny came through with an excellent little outfit that created such a good impression that the first date led to a second and now I have a girlfriend. Since then I’ve bought myself some nice new clothes and treated Kenny to a t-shirt that is so bright it will scorch you eyeballs.
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